Several new Joes, including Walker, Brock and Robyn. Walker is the wise-cracker of the bunch, who's always making jokes about other guys' moms. Robyn is a gun-loving weapons expert, who talks lovingly about her latest ultra-high-tech rifle. (Which prompts Walker to say that he loves "girls with guns.") Brock is from the 'hood and he listens to a lot of Cypress Hill on his boombox while looking at pictures of his eight-year-old twin girls. (When he takes the picture out of a Ziploc bag, Walker hopes he's bringing out some of his famous pistachio cheese balls.)
At one point, when Robyn, Brock and another Joe named Sam are on the run, they take refuge in Brock's old neighborhood, where one of the homies, a tattooed stone-cold badass named Stacks, promises to help him any way he can. Stacks and Brock are like brothers from another mother, and Stacks tells Brock they can hide out in the old rec center. He can even hook Brock up with a new set of wheels, which are pimped out but "on the low." (The joke is that the wheels are clearly not on the low, because they're too fancy and loud.)
Mouse, who is the newest recruit on the team played by Joseph Mazzello. He's a Southern boy, "18 going on 11." He's got no real combat experience, but he's played a lot of Call of Duty. And when he goes up against one of the top Joes in a test to see who can pull a hand grenade out of a big pool out of water with their teeth, Mouse wins. He raises his arms in victory, and spits out the grenade, saying "Bang." The crowd of soldiers watching this goes nuts.
The Young Storm Shadow. Looks like we'll be getting some flashbacks to the childhoods of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. Blind Master (played by RZA!) talks to Storm Shadow about his early mistakes in voice-over, while we watch the young Storm Shadow fleeing the Dojo. Blind Master asks who had the most to gain from driving Storm Shadow from the Dojo: the rival who drove Storm away, or the "man into whose arms you were chased." We see that Storm Shadow took refuge with a "burly peasant" who gave him a blanket and cooked for him by a fire. And later, we see the burly peasant, who's really a super-ninja in disguise, killing a ninja master.
Lots and lots of World Leaders There's some kind of summit, in which everybody is agreeing on reducing their nuclear missiles, and it all goes horribly wrong, of course. The U.S. has launched all of its birds in the air, and everybody is trying to decide whether to retaliate and cause World War III. People say awesome shit like, "Let history record who was responsible for this madness." And "There can be no winners!"
And then Zartan — the master of disguise who replaced the U.S. President in the first movie — basically tells everybody that their countries can serve him or die. He totally wants it all, man. Zartan tells the French muckety muck that from now on "You're reporting to moi." But at least Russia is defiant, telling Zartan "You've only succeeded in uniting us... against you." Separately, we see the Pakistani President, who is standing by his decision to harbor terrorists, suddenly getting assassinated with a titanium blade.
Lecter, a new villain who joins forces with Zartan in infiltrating the White House. (And it turns out the President's approval ratings have skyrocketed since he turned evil.) Lecter has been busted out of prison, so he can develop every high-tech weapon the baddies can possibly imagine... and some they can't. Lecter and his friends Smith and Jones are holding a U.S. Senator prisoner and interrogating him. "It's called a water board... but I never get bored," gloats Jones.
Let the speculation begin. G.I. Joe: Retaliation, directed by Jon Chu is set to star Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Stevenson, Ray Park, Elodie Yung and RZA. The film is scheduled to hit theaters on June 29th, 2012.
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